A life lived to it's fullest.

Well, my grandma died Friday morning. I'm upset, yes. But I'm glad she is gone because now she isn't suffering anymore. She had 3 heart attacks last week and two last weekend. They ran a test on her during the week to figure out what a mass was on her pancreas, but the results weren't due back until today...they were sure it was pancreatic cancer. I'm just happy that she didn't have to suffer with that any longer, she was in SO much pain. None of the family wanted to see her suffer with that along with more heart attacks. She was so weak...and frail. I went to see her Thursday night and she was in and out of sleeping. She kept putting her hand on my face saying "I love you so much! I'm so proud of who you have become." In my mind, I was thinking "I have been in and out of jobs my entire life and have 2 college degrees...both of which I am wasting because I have little to no self confidence to do either one! What is there to be proud of?" My grandpa I'm sure isn't far behind her. They have been married for 70 years and still so in love. He never left her side this week bless his heart. I hope if God decides to take him from us soon too, that it will be quick, painless and maybe in his sleep. He won't survive long without her. She was his entire reason for being. I hope to have a husband like him some day. He should be envied by every man.
Travis is doing his last day of drill today. He has been staying her off and on for the past two weeks. Maybe something in him is changing? I don't know. Yesterday, I left work a few hours early because it was slow and I couldn't stop thinking that I needed to be with my family right now. So I went to get the kids from summer school and daycare early. Got Jordan, then went to get Jaelynn and the director said "Uhm, her daddy picked her up before I got here this morning." I said "This morning? What?" He had told me that yesterday was "family day" at Richard's Gabour (sp?) for the military and he had to go. He wanted me to take the day off work and go with him, but with Dr's appointmenst and everything I had going this week, I didn't want to take the day off and miss the pay. So, she checked the sign in/out sheet and I signed her in at 8:10 and he signed her out at 9:25. She said he took her to the family day. I'm thinking "Great! I'm glad he did that but he could have atleast told me he was thinking about doing it!" Lol! He said they had a blast. They went swimming and played games and she got to work puzzles with his NCO which was a pretty big deal to her and to Travis too. She really had a good time. She is TAN too! Since he is Italian, she has it in her too...so instead of burning, she just tans! Wish I was like that! But now that I found out I have Lupus, I can't really be in the sun much.
I start my Chemo a week from today. I have to have my kidney stones blasted Wednesday and then I will start Chemo on Saturday. My grandma's funeral is Tuesday....what a busy week I have. If I don't write for a while, it's because of the Chemo...my Dr said it takes alot out of you. Well, that's it for now. Wish me luck!
Susan