My blog title: March 2006

HIM part 2

Anyways...so, after we argued all day long, I finally just told him that I DO give a shit about my kids and I wasn't going to let him or anyone else tell me that I don't! He's forever trying to tell me that he never says mean shit to me...well, what was that? And not to mention the fact that he is forever calling me a bitch...but I suppose in HIS warped mind, that's being nice?! Oh well...I got Jaelynn better...to an extent. She is feeling better, but she says her ear is still hurting. I think once she is on the Amox. for a few more days she will start to feel better. I was going to keep her home from school today, but she woke up wanting to go, so I let her. She wasn't running a temp anymore, so I figured it was okay.
I just can't believe that he would actually tell me that leaving his moms house to take us to the ER was a "hassle"! I guess I should just stop "hassling" him and take his ass to court for child support? Maybe then it won't be considered a "hassle".
I don't know what to do anymore...he got fired and then got his job back...so I haven't seen any money from him in over a month. I guess in the back of my mind, I'm trying to keep things on a civil level...don't know how much longer THAT will be possible?! But, I'm trying and that's all that matters!
More later!
Susan

HIM!

I have had a HELL of a weekend! Funny thing is...I couldn't wait for it to get here and when it finally did...I was SO ready for it to be overwith!
Jaelynn spent the night with my sister Friday and Jordan was with his friends Connor and Chandler. Jaelynn came home Saturday and fell right asleep and slept for almost 3 1/2 hours! That isn't like her and I thought maybe she had just stayed up late the night before. HA! Not the case. When she woke up around 6pm and was running a temperature. It wasn't really high, but I could tell she wasn't herself! When she turned down PB&J and macaroni and cheese, I knew something was wrong with her! When I asked her, she said she had an earache! This is a child who had 17 ear infections before she hit the age of 1 year, so I new it wasn't anything to mess around about. The brakes are going out on my truck, so I called HIM to take us to the ER. He said "It would be too much of a hassle for me to come all the way there and do all that running...besides, I'm having dinner with my mom so I can't! Sorry!" I WAS LIVID!!!!!!!!!!! So, I called my mom and she took us. Sure enough, another ear infection!So, Sunday...he calls to see how it went. I said "You should have gone...now it's none of your business!" There's more to this...but the jist of it is...I got told that I don't give a shit about Jaelynn because I am pumping her full of antibiotics! WHAT THE FUCK EVER!!!!!!! Sorry, but I don't like seeing my kids in pain or sick! I'm a mother...what does he expect? Well, Jordan called and needs a ride, so I will try to finish later tonight after gymnastics class! FUN FUN FUN!
Susan.

OOOOOHHHHH I HATE HIM SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO POP HIS F**KING HEAD OFF HIS BODY AND STOMP ALL OVER IT!
Here's the situation...my daughter's "dad", Travis. Long story, but I will do what I can so you can get the general idea. We met, started dating, he moved in, I got pregnant, we had our daughter, she is now 4, and he has ALWAYS been just a "part-time" dad. I have a son who is 12 from a previous relationship...he treated him allright considering he was a first time dad. He's only 26...I know, I know...that's what I get for dating someone younger than me...but hey, you live and learn. When my daughter was a baby, he was gone every single night. His cousin lived right up the street from us, so he was always there hanging out, playing video/computer games, and getting high. Fine, whatever! Then, when I try to mention it to him that he needs to spend more time at home with me and the kids...he blows up and I become a bitch in his eyes! Fine, whatever there too! I know I'm a bitch! BUT...if you can't tell my I'm the best bitch you've ever met.....then DON'T CALL ME A BITCH! Ladies...am I right? Thank you! Anyways, after 7 years of putting up with his never wanting to help out around the house (cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc), and never having a steady job the entire 7 years we were together, I had enough. I told him he needed to get his shit together and stop waisting his life away. He went into the Army to "better our lives" but the only life he bettered was his own! All I got out of it was a heartache when he fucked around on me during his deployment to Fort Sill, Oklahoma and Fort Riley, Kansas! I know...I should have just left his ass then, but I stayed for the sake of my kids. So, January 1st of this year...after staying out all night for New Years, he informs me that he needs to "find himself before our relationship can go any further" he said "because the way things are going, we are at a stand still"!? WHAT THE F**K KIND OF HORSE SH*T IS THAT? WE HAVE A DAUGHTER TOGETHER AND YOU WANT TO WALK OUT NOW???????? HELLO????????? Okay, fine...move out...whatever makes you more of a man because obviously, your'e not becoming one living here with your "family". So, he moved in with his cousin (that used to live up the street from us) in Raytown. Not a big deal, he was still seeing Jaelynn (our daughter) every day almost because he was working here in Independence and he would just pick her up from school everyday and bring her home or take her to my mom if I was working late. Well, when he moved, we had a 3 bdrm townhouse...I didn't want to stay there if it was just me and the kids, so I downsized so I could afford it...now we have a small apartment. The Monday after he helped me move, he got fired from his job because he said he "set his alarm for PM instead of AM". Okay, well no big deal...find another job! His cousin that he lives with still works at that company and he carts his ass back and forth to work everyday...so instead of driving all the way back to Raytown, he comes here since it's just 5 min. away. I figured, okay...helps me out in the mornings, I don't have to get the kids off to school...he's here and can do it after I leave for work! Sounded good at first. Now, everyday, I come home from work to him on my couch or in MY bed sleeping or playing Jordan's (my 12 yr old son) X Box and eating my food! Well, tonight, I asked him if he could wash up the two pans he used for his lunch and I would make us some dinner. He had the BALLS to say "Sorry, I still don't do dishes!" Motherf**ker, if you EAT here, you WILL do the dishes! I'm NOT your mother and I won't clean up after your ass anymore! I did it for 7 LONG years and I'll be damned if I'm going to do it and you're not living here anymore! F**K THAT SH*T!!!!!!!!!
Well, I'm done ranting...there's more to the story, but I'm too pissed and my hands are now cramping because I'm typing so fast! LOL!More tomorrow!Susan.

It's ALMOST Spring!!!!!!!! YEAH!

Okay, so I haven't been REAL faithful about writing, but hey! I've had alot going! I work all the time and I don't really have alot of free time between 10 hour days at the IRS and my 2 kids! Not to mention the fact that Travis is here nearly every day seeing Jaelynn. No, we aren't back together yet...I still have hope...things are changing, slow but sure! We don't fight anymore now that we aren't together 24/7, but he isn't working again and isn't looking, so that is frustrating. We talk, but not about the things we SHOULD talk about! Oh well, time will tell. I met a new guy...his name is Travis. LOL! Funny how life is, isn't it? He lives in Leavenworth and works at the Prison up there. My dad introduced me to him...they used to work together when my dad was a Leutinant up there before he retired last year. He is really nice and he has a 9 year old son and he gets along with my kids GREAT! They adore him! He actually spends TIME with them...that's ALOT more then I can say for any of the other men that I have had in my life...especially their own dads! Well, I just wanted to post some pictures since I FINALLY figured out how to do it! LOL!
I'll write more tomorrow if I get a chance!
Susan.